It hardly slept. I think this is too heavy for me to process. I mean, when I called her what I knew was that she had moved; I told her about some of the details of my dream before she said anything.
Tempest in a Teacup
JoinedPosts by Tempest in a Teacup
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12
Ooo...Mmm...Ggg premonitory dream. Can't believe it
by Tempest in a Teacup inso, the whole weekend i spent it dozing on and off.
this morning, before waking up, i had a dream.
i was passing by a building in france (i don't live in europe) and then i recognized a certain building as the one where one of my friends who lives in that country lives.
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12
Ooo...Mmm...Ggg premonitory dream. Can't believe it
by Tempest in a Teacup inso, the whole weekend i spent it dozing on and off.
this morning, before waking up, i had a dream.
i was passing by a building in france (i don't live in europe) and then i recognized a certain building as the one where one of my friends who lives in that country lives.
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Tempest in a Teacup
So, the whole weekend I spent it dozing on and off. This morning, before waking up, I had a dream. I was passing by a building in France (I don't live in Europe) and then I recognized a certain building as the one where one of my friends who lives in that country lives. I get down from the bus and I go inside the building. Saw a woman sitting down folding clothes which belong to my friend. I told her who I am, and I ask where my friend is. She said my friend isn't around, she went out to get some meat because she's receiving guests that night. She told me that in actual fact my friend was moving out of that room.
I ask where the new place is. She said I had to just go round the building, there's an opening under a tree, I could use it to get inside and wait for my fiend there.
I go round the building and get in. The place looks new, big and almost empty, with the exception of her husband's few clothes laying around. I don't stay for long and I leave etc...
THIS AFTERNOON...I receive a skype message from my friend. Note that we haven't spoken for a month. She drops the message: "hey how have you been. We just moved, I'm super tired. Wanted to let you know, next time you come to France, we'll be happy to receive you in our own place'.
I didn't know what to think. I felt lost. So I called her. Several times, I couldn't wait to tell her about my dream. I started with "you're not going to believe this " followed by the dream.
AND THEN she tells me... Your dream was true. We actually moved to another apartment in the SAME building. Jaw dropped me...'what, I mean...WHAT'? So why did I have that dream?
This is the first time I'm experiencing something like this. I'm the type who would chuckle and brush this off had someone else told me this story?
What is this? I'm amazed and scared at the same time.
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23
If JWs Were More Tolerant Would It Help Their Money Woes?
by minimus inthey don't want you bettering yourself.
they hate college education.they applaud you if you quit full time secular work and instead, "pioneer".
they cry that they have money problems.
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Tempest in a Teacup
As a matter of fact, yes. When you keep hammering into someone's ears negative things about how evil they are for earning their money, one day they'll stop giving you their evil money . -
14
"Sorry, sister; but the CO said he isn't going to visit anyone durind the Special Week."
by Tempest in a Teacup inthird post about the big disappointments that woke me up.
i'm writing them in no particular order.
these episodes made me bitter when they happened.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Third post about the big disappointments that woke me up. I'm writing them in no particular order. These episodes made me bitter when they happened. They all happened within a short time span (about a year ) and they made me question who these people actually were. After all these incidents, I developed an instinctive fear and repulsion for JWs. Before long, I started drifting away from them to shield myself from their callous ways.
In my family, we always made it a point to receive the co when he's visiting. Ever since I've been living on my own, I always tried to respect the tradition. What we normally do is that 4 or 5 single people will decide upon a weekly day to have the co for lunch.
it normally worked well. We sometimes had splendid visits with heart to heart, up building conversations with the COs and their wives. Other times, it was quite boring but the joy of having the CO over for a meal was still there.
Then came this CO. Utterly disrespectful. Terribly inconsiderate. It was pure hell sitting through his talks because the man would just be standing there spewing INSULT after INSULT. He gave me the impression that I was a slave instead of a believer.
It was the first time he was visiting our congregation. So as usual, I gave my name to have him and his wife over for lunch, together with other people in the cong. This was done the week before his visit. After the first meeting, which I thoroughly hated, elders called me to let me know that brother CO had rejected all invitations to homes for the duration of the week. I asked why. They told me that he said that he only enjoys having sandwiches for lunch and so he doesn't need to go to anyone's house for that.
It was such a jaw dropping moment! Like seriously? Yes. He's cancelled all invitations? Yes.
Okay. Cool. Never ever in my life had I seen or heard of a CO refusing all invitations to have lunch with congregation members. In my culture, that's a big no-no, and I'm sure he was aware of this.
Turns out, he actually lives in our area and I suppose he just wanted to be going to his own home since it wasn't that far away. That, I heard weeks later. Which ever way, I thought it was quite insensitive of him to actually refuse to visit members of the cong for that. I guess he knew so too, since he invented the sandwich excuse. I mean, we will make sandwich for you if that's what you want. What matters to us is to have you over. Mr CO knew that but couldn't care less about our a**es.
Needless to say, I missed his next visits (3 I think). I always found a reason to be absent that week. I couldn't stand the mere sight of his arrogant self.
For his second visit, elders were asking who would like to receive him. Turns out, for whatever reason, that this time around he was willing to fulfill his COly duties. They naturally approached me about it. I happily said 'no, I can't ' and turn my heels.
For his first visit, I was disappointed because there were some things I was wanting to discuss with him, and at that point in time, any encouraging words would have greatly helped me in the state where I was. As at the time of the second visit, I had learnt my lessons and I was looking for the way out.
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"You don't go to the platform to say nonsense."
by Tempest in a Teacup insecond in a series of reminiscing disappointments that cut me off this religion one string at a time.... actually, i had a one week break which i spent quite poorly: not sleeping at night, so i could catch up on my favorite shows, eating crappy foods the whole day, booze and hangovers.
i'm an introvert and really, this for me is an ideal holiday :).
but...all the above, coupled with having too much free time has brought back some demons who had been sleeping...and snoring.. back to the topic.. in my former congregation, there's one wannabe-elder-no-education-hates-his-job-envies-others-mysogynist-ministerial servant.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Lol! Something like that. No, I just happen to love the language. -
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"I'm feeling down, I'm not faring well; I need help, please help me."
by Tempest in a Teacup intoday i remembered one of my disillusionment episodes, when i was going from rejection to rejection, and i was discovering the wide gap between spewing beautiful words and actually translating them into actions.. a few years ago, in my darkest hours of depression, it occurred to me to send the following sms to one of my closest friends in the congregation.
i truly believed in her friendship and thought i could count on her.
it was one of the very rare moments in which i was ready to put myself completely out there and pour my heart out to someone.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Ow, I did get professional help. It's just one of those times when memories strike. -
33
If you are a current active JW, What rules do you deliberately break?
by Truthexplorer indo the lottery.
celebrate my child's birthday.
sign workmates birthday cards.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Oh yeah, and higher education. GUILTY! -
4
"You don't go to the platform to say nonsense."
by Tempest in a Teacup insecond in a series of reminiscing disappointments that cut me off this religion one string at a time.... actually, i had a one week break which i spent quite poorly: not sleeping at night, so i could catch up on my favorite shows, eating crappy foods the whole day, booze and hangovers.
i'm an introvert and really, this for me is an ideal holiday :).
but...all the above, coupled with having too much free time has brought back some demons who had been sleeping...and snoring.. back to the topic.. in my former congregation, there's one wannabe-elder-no-education-hates-his-job-envies-others-mysogynist-ministerial servant.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Second in a series of reminiscing disappointments that cut me off this religion one string at a time...
Actually, I had a one week break which I spent quite poorly: not sleeping at night, so I could catch up on my favorite shows, eating crappy foods the whole day, booze and hangovers. I'm an introvert and really, this for me is an ideal holiday :)
But...all the above, coupled with having too much free time has brought back some demons who had been sleeping...and snoring.
Back to the topic.
In my former congregation, there's one wannabe-elder-no-education-hates-his-job-envies-others-mysogynist-ministerial servant. I'll simply call him brother Frustration. He didn't like me and I didn't like him either. We couldn't just click.
He happened to be the one who shares the slips with assignment (part) info. Around that time, they had already started the 'no-slip, check the board to know if you have a part' craze. This brother continued to share the slips but decided to apply the rules to ME. I wasn't a fan of reading the announcement board ( I mean, what is it?). This incident happened the very first time he decided not to give me the slip.
3 days before the service meeting, bro Frustration called me in the night to graciously 'remind' me about the part I had on the meeting. I told him that I knew nothing about it since I didn't receive any slip. He triumphantly announced to me that he was no longer bound to do that and that as a publisher, it was my responsibility now to check such info on the board...
So I had 48 hours to put something together and present a part. I could have refused to do it, but I knew that's what they wanted and I simply didn't want to give them that satisfaction.
Since it was a foreign language congregation, I had to get as partner someone who had the language as first language, in order to minimize the time needed to prepare. I had few options. Among those, there was an elder's pioneer wife I used to look up to. She was one person I secretly admired for no particular reason. I'll call her sis BigDisappointment.
So I called her, fully hoping that she was going to understand the situation and accept my request to second me for the part. I'm not even the type of sister who will involve my partners in the 'research' stage of the preparation. I hated that! So I called her, and contrary to my expectations, the conversation went aw-ry!
She scolded me for accepting a part with the date so close and her tone of voice made me wonder if that was the first time in her life that she was hearing about a last minute preparation for a part in a meeting. She acted all shocked, scolding me and criticizing the brother, and advised me to tell bro frustration that I wasn't going to do the part because of the short time limit; and then she dropped the line of the title. Twice.
I was shocked. Here I had a zealous pioneer whose life was all dedicated to God's service, refusing to second me on a last minute part and inciting me to refuse doing it altogether. I was never able to get those few words out of my mind.
I eventually got a sister (after several unsuccessful attempts) who reluctantly accepted to do the 'dirty job' with me. At the end of the meeting, sis BigDisappointment walks up to me, and told me how beautifully I had done the part and that nothing in the way it was done showed that it was a last minute thing.
I wonder what was the big deal?! Copy a few sentences from a book, read 2 or 3 verses, get up and leave the chairs? Was that the big deal?
Mind you...suppose I had refused to do the assignment...bro Frustration would have called sis BigDisappointment to the rescue, and sis BigDisappointment would have quickly accepted to do the part of that higher-education-full-time-job-materialistic-too-busy-making -money-to-devote-her-time to spiritual matters sister who had the guts to refuse her part. The school overseer would have announced from the platform how sis BigDisappointment had accepted to do a last minute part in lieu of the one who couldn't do it (though she was present at the meeting)... and he would have graciously thanked her for such exemplary benevolence.
It was just another day with the witnesses.
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33
If you are a current active JW, What rules do you deliberately break?
by Truthexplorer indo the lottery.
celebrate my child's birthday.
sign workmates birthday cards.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Masturbation. What else? -
3
"I'm feeling down, I'm not faring well; I need help, please help me."
by Tempest in a Teacup intoday i remembered one of my disillusionment episodes, when i was going from rejection to rejection, and i was discovering the wide gap between spewing beautiful words and actually translating them into actions.. a few years ago, in my darkest hours of depression, it occurred to me to send the following sms to one of my closest friends in the congregation.
i truly believed in her friendship and thought i could count on her.
it was one of the very rare moments in which i was ready to put myself completely out there and pour my heart out to someone.
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Tempest in a Teacup
Today I remembered one of my disillusionment episodes, when I was going from rejection to rejection, and I was discovering the wide gap between spewing beautiful words and actually translating them into actions.
A few years ago, In my darkest hours of depression, it occurred to me to send the following sms to one of my closest friends in the congregation. I truly believed in her friendship and thought I could count on her. It was one of the very rare moments in which I was ready to put myself completely out there and pour my heart out to someone. I was and felt vulnerable.
In the midst of tears and suicidal thoughts, I typed this short message and sent it to her.
Her reaction? NONE. MUTE. M.I.A
I was most surprised, since I knew that she had also had her down moments and sought help and got it. Numerous times. I was flabbergasted at how anyone would receive THAT sort of sms and not mind the sender.
About 6 months later, we met at a gathering. I recounted the episode to her and told her how disappointed I felt to be left on my own and to be so cruelly ignored when I actually begged for assistance from a friend, in a moment of emotional breakdown.
She said that she actually remembered quite distinctly that she did receive such a message a few months ago but she had no idea it was from me because she had lost her phone and all her contacts with it. She thought it was probably a scammer trying to defraud her in someway (because she had heard that scammers sometimes send that type of sms to their prospective victims) and that's why she didn't give it much thought.
Really?! You could have just called to make sure it wasn't someone you knew , especially because you're not having your contacts! I told her that for me that wasn't a valid excuse and that I was thoroughly disappointed by how she chose to react, and that I feel it was so callous of her to ignore my text with the excuse she was giving me.
She then asked me to tell her what was wrong because she's now feeling so bad and she wished she could still help.
I told her that it was 6 months ago and I did not need any help from her anymore.
Whatever I would have shared with her 6 months later, about my problems would have just fed the gossip machine. I knew that and she knew it as well.